The observance of my senses can only go so far in my seeking of knowledge and wisdom.
What does it mean when two separate persons "ask of god" when "lacking wisdom" (James 1:5) and find themselves at two opposing answers?
Is it possible to measure truth? Truth is intangible and fits no ruler.
God's voice is silent. He is not heard. He remains aloof in our search for answers.
If he cares to which truth we should arrive, he is not obvious in his swaying.
Even if one were to arrive at some tangible idea of truth, this person would still be relying on faith. Faith that their conclusions aren't false and that they haven't been led astray. Faith in their sources from which they've drawn conclusions aren't blind shepherds.
People must take the bible up in faith.
Faith isn't a measure of truth. It is rather a leaping out from a ledge hoping that one doesn't fall. Hoping rather that they are caught by the supposed turth they are putting faith towards.
Who am I to say whose blind leap is right and whose blind leap is false?
The material universe as seen through observable senses can only answer questions of how things are.
The only thing one can conclude from material senses, and this is my perspective, the undeniable beauty of the universe.
When I see the sun setting and the stars lighting up of endless galaxies – I see beauty.
That is perspective of the confirmed truth of their very existence.
Then again the confirmed truth can be questioned whether or not the so called confirmed truth exists at all.
Could it all be illusion what our collective senses perceive?
Is truth so aloof from us that we must question our most solid observable reality?
I guess it's once again faith that we believe in observable reality.
In my perspective the observable reality, which we take in faith to be really real in the first place, holds no further truth except the reality of itself.
The question of greater truth.
The question of God.
Remains unanswerable.
And continuously unanswerable.
This remains a dark conclusion that there are no answers in observable reality.
There remains no God behind the beauty of the burning ball 93 million miles away.
Questions of how this all came to b e – how did something come from nothing. Ah, the infinite regress.
Questions of purpose, questions of "why" remains unanswered.
The first step of faith is to believe in the reality around me as true. It isn't illusion, a statement of faith.
Does one have to stop there.
Does God have to remain aloof from us – a fairy tale to make the unanswerable questions seem not so bothersome. Is it possible to take a second leap of faith?
Is it possible to believe in God?
My hands remain tied.
All things are unanswerable and uncertain.
Is it faith that I believe reality to be real?
Is it faith to believe reality is illusion? Definitely more so.
But the questions remain unanswerable.
Even with the solidity of reality things remain uncertain.
If I must take so much with faith – how much bigger a leap is it to believe in this aloof God.
To some reality's complexity and perceived beauty implies a creator.
To me it doesn't
To me this is a leap of faith.
This leap of faith. This leap of faith isn't merely leaping between two buildings. It's a leap across oceans.
This is my rational conclusion then.
To believe in god is a leap of faith between two lands separated by an ocean.
This rational conclusion brings me no peace.
This rational conclusion leaves me empty inside.
Is it my theistic upbringing that begs for a God with a capital "G?"
Just because I feel a need for God doesn't mean he/she/they have to exist.
However I feel compelled to make the leap of faith.
Rather I shall construct for myself wings and fly.
With which shall I construct these wings?
The wings many people have constructed have used myth.
The framework for my wings shall not be myth alone.
Rather the inborn fire I feel inside.
This fire inside is what compels me to make this leap of faith in the first place.
This fire is a longing for God
This fire is a longing for meaning
To make this leap of faith is not just to find belief in God. This leap is the process by which I define god.
What if in my leaping search between lands I find no God?
Then so be it.
I shall make the leap no matter what.
This leap of faith is my search for meaning and purpose.
For the time being this leap will be one of faith in God.
So what if I wake up, the sun is shining and there is no God in the sky?
Will meaning and purpose be lost?
This conclusion is my depression.
In the meantime I leap out in search, I fly on the fiery wings I've constructed in search of purpose, in search of meaning, and yes possibly the search for God.
Where will my search lead, I cannot say.
Will it be to deconstruct the preconceived notion that purpose and meaning are tied to God?
Will it be to construct a faith that stands strongly in belief in God?
Will it be to construct a faith that stands strongly in belief in God?
I cannot say.
I can only conclude thus:
Now I've constructed wings from my inner fire I shall leap buildings and maybe yes, oceans.